You are not responsible for what happened to you as a child; you are responsible for how you choose to respond.
Stages of Grief
It is a common human response to mourn a lost childhood. However, problems arise when we choose to avoid confronting this loss by suppressing our emotions or ignoring our feelings. Unfortunately, these methods only serve to postpone the inevitable sorrow that will persistently resurface in various ways until we confront it head-on. The consequences of this avoidance can be quite significant. They include difficulties in relationships, low self-esteem, self-sabotage, intimacy issues, emotional struggles, anxiety, panic, fear, agitation, nightmares, flashbacks, stomachaches, eating disorders, headaches, feeling different from others, social isolation, challenges in expressing feelings, and even suicidal thoughts.
Denial refuses to accept that past – can distort our view of God.
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceedingly corrupt. Who can know it?" (Jer 17:9 WEB)
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” (Psa 51:10 WEB)
“Who can discern his errors? Declare me innocent from hidden faults.” (Psa 19:12 WEB)
Anger frustrations over past can lead to bitterness.
"Be angry, and don’t sin.” Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, and don’t give place to the devil." (Eph 4:26-27 WEB)
“A fool vents all of his anger, But a wise man brings himself under control.” (Pro 29:11 WEB)
“Cease from anger, and forsake wrath. Don't fret, it leads only to evildoing.” (Psa 37:8 WEB)
Bargaining is imagining a better past – what could have been.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Rom 12:2 WEB)
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” (Pro 3:5 WEB)
“Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth.” (Pro 4:5 WEB)
Depression feels like a heavy burden with overwhelming sadness.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." (Mat 5:4 WEB)
“Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for you are my praise.” (Jer 17:14 WEB)
“Turn, O LORD, deliver my life; save me for the sake of your steadfast love.” (Psa 6:4 WEB)
“Help us, O God of our salvation, for the glory of your name; deliver us, and atone for our sins, for your name's sake!” (Psa 79:9 WEB)
Acceptance concludes grief, helping us find peace with the Lord.
"Yahweh will also be a high tower for the oppressed; a high tower in times of trouble." (Psa 9:9 WEB)
"But as for me, I will look to Yahweh. I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me." (Mic 7:7 WEB)
