My younger sister and I got jumped by a gang in the neighborhood. So, my mother placed my sister in the All-Church Children’s Home in Fort Worth. Shortly after that, I started going to nightclubs with my mother. At first, I found it exciting to go dancing, but then men began offering her free drinks to dance with me. Initially, I didn’t mind, but I soon realized many of these men had ulterior motives. If any of them made a move, I would immediately leave the dance floor and return to sit beside my mother. At fifteen, my mother got used to receiving freebies from older men who paid attention to me. Maintaining peace with her and preventing these men from crossing my established boundaries wasn’t easy. One night, my mother went to Arlington, Texas, and spent the night with her boyfriend; I was with her. I went to sleep on the couch in the living-room. Later that night, her boyfriend’s brother came into the living-room and forced himself on me. I am still not sure if my mother could not help or if she didn’t care. Sometime later, a man offered my mother money to aid him in his quest for American citizenship. She wanted me to marry the man so he could get a green card. I no longer trusted my mother and adamantly refused. From then on, I kept my guard around any males she introduced me to.
My dad, Jimmy, got released from prison around the same time. I felt tremendous relief knowing I now had a chance for safety. After everything I had endured, I found trying to adjust to everyday teenage life confusing. When Jimmy left, I hadn’t even kissed a boy. I hadn’t been living with Jimmy long when my mother showed up with Joy. Joy and her husband ran a Christ-based rescue house called “The House of Bread” in Fort Worth, Texas. My mother had misled Joy into believing that living with Jimmy was dangerous. As a result, my mother and I had to move into The House of Bread. Thankfully, Joy offered me a separate room and privacy, treating my case independently from my mother’s.
Joy was passionate about her faith, and she and her husband shared a deep love for God. As I shared my story, she listened intently, and I felt truly understood. Joy explained the concept of free will, helping me realize that my mother’s choices were her own. When God granted humanity the ability to choose, He honored those choices, even when they caused Him grief. While I’m unsure if this understanding made it easier for me to process my experiences, it helped lessen my anger toward God. Once again, I tried to develop a relationship with the Lord. After our conversation, Joy’s attitude toward my mother remained unchanged, which I found reassuring. Although my mother’s actions still upset me, my love for her and my hope for her freedom had never faded. I learned a lot about how Christians should behave by observing Joy and her husband. She was genuine, and nothing escaped her watchful eye in that house. As the youngest person living there, I made friends with others close to my age. I enjoyed my time at the rescue house; however, my mother moved within a month. Joy offered to let me stay with her and become my guardian, but I ultimately returned to my dad, as I had missed him terribly while he was in prison and wanted the chance to spend time with him.
My mother remarried and moved my sister, Bethany, in with her. Knowing my mother’s poor judgment regarding men, I move back in with them to watch over Bethany. My sister always tried to please our mother and stay on her good side. Johnny, Patty’s new husband, was kind when he was sober, but he hid a troubled past behind a façade of success. Their relationship was destructive, and I often found myself mediating between them as my mother’s anger turned toward Johnny.
